Story #105

Not much to share any more to be honest.

Had a friend, he started to like me, apparently not "really", was confused. I got confused, thought I had feelings as well, but wasn't sure. When I admit to them, he doesn't like me any more.

Fight, contact, no contact etc. Him falling for girls that don't treat him very nicely, me listening to it. Ending up being jealous and so on. Wanting him to be happy, but only #@@*ing everything up by acting like a complete idiot.

Having his (now ex gf) telling me to leave him alone etc (does ring a bell? That's right, I posted the story under an alt).

We not talking for 2 months, last thing I said to him was that I hoped he would be driven over by a bus, very nice I know...

Then him starting to talk again when his relation not going too well, me trying to cheer him up. Was just a friend, tried to keep him at distance, failed, fell for him again.

And now we said goodbye, same ending as last time, but without the "I hope you get overrun by a bus." Telling a complete stranger(friend of his) to take care of him, because I can't.

We both want each other to be happy, but we do the complete opposite, so it's best this way. I just wish I could shake these feelings off and be just a friend as he is a good guy, but meh. I can't. I'm stupid and an idiot for caring so much.

All in all, him liking me was a mistake, or however you can describe it at all...

Can't care less that I'm posting this under a main any more, so if people wanna mock me, go ahead, I really don't care about it at all. Can't get any worse.

I just lost him, our friendship, again and it's a #@@*ed up feeling that's all I can say. Just cause I fail being "just a friend".

/sigh.