Bah...
Story starts in August last year.
Started posting on a forum I had recently found. Trolled around a bit, posted in a semi-decent way that made the top posters like me (the cool gang).
After 1 month (or less), the girl that I'm going to talk about, pm's me about hotmail. I give her it and we start to talk. Turns out we are both quite depressed and have troubles with sleeping. So we stay up late and chat for a long time.
Around the end of October, she manages to help me so much that I get out of my depression. This cheers me up a lot and I start to like her a bit.
Sadly, she wasn't out of her own. A week or two passes and I manage to make a big mistake: I manage to break contact with her since she became really quiet. This ticked me off and I snapped at her for responding vaguely and slowly (stupid, stupid, stupid...). We break contact and stop talking for a while.
I think it was around December I started talking to her again. I tried to PM her but noticed she disliked me for what I had done. Sadly, I can't remember why we started talking again.
But we did. And we talked casually for a long time until she told me a thing which changed my whole view on her. That's when I started developing feelings.
I don't want to give out to much info about her but she was really, really bad at that time. So I held the feelings in for about a month. She was surprised to hear I had some. I felt relieved at first and thought it would be over (my brain has worked like this always). But this was not the case...
For the past 4 weeks after that, I kept getting stronger and stronger feelings. It evolved to the point of where I can say that I love her. And this wasn't good for my mentality. I suffer from Avoidance Personality Disorder and multiple personalities, which tore me apart. Don't feel like attention whoring but several suicide attempts were made...
About a week ago, she told me a big surprise. She has feelings for me herself. Which has kept me happy ever since.
Bet you weren't expecting that, eh?
I'm not searching for any help. I am sure I will crash it if something happens between us.
And that is my story.
Thursday 11 June 2009
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