GALRITPOG - Ruined Love Stories

Geeks Acting Like Retards In The Presence Of Girls

This blog is a collection for all the ruined love stories told by geeks.

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Tuesday, 1 September 2009

Story #118

So here's my story:

About 4-5 days ago I think I may have missed the opportunity.


I was mountaineering in the Alps ticking off 4000m peaks when I managed to injure my Achilles Tendon. The result of this was that on the final day I had to sit out on when my dad and our guide were climbing the Holograt of the Allalinhorn. There was a mountain restaurant/viewing a few hundred meters below the peak with a vernacular railway for skiers and such. (It was near the Saas Fe ski resort popular with the national snowboarding and skiing teams because of it's glacier skiing. The plan was that we would get up early and then take the railway up where it could stop halfway. At this point my dad and the guide got out and walked up the glacier and the mountain. I took it the rest of the way to the restaurant to wait for them at lunch time (Mountaineering has to be done in the morning).

So basically I sat around for a while, read a book, a newspaper etc and waited until they arrived back. Now soon after I arrived at the restaurant all the ski-brats from the national teams arrived and started getting up so I hid upstairs on the veranda.

So a few hours past... I got horrendously sunburnt without realising it despite my generous lathering of factor 50 cream on my face.... then we got to the moment of importance.

Thanks to my sunburn I had decided to sit in a more public spot where there was a bit more shade. This was basically a park bench and I sat on one side and put my rucksack on the seat next to me. A few hours passed as I got into quite a good book but eventually one of the snowboarders came up from the glacier and sat on the bench opposite me. She had obviously injured her leg or something and started taking off her gear and putting ice while making a lot of groans of pain. Occasionally we would exchange looks but she basically carried on with her business and I carried on with mine. Unfortunately I was a little distracted and quickly got bored of my book and took out the newspaper and then the ipod but I could not concentrate.

At this point I had no idea how to initiate conversation because you see when you are in Switzerland where there are lots of national teams you don't know whether you should address them in any number of languages. I think she had seen what I was reading so she probably knew I spoke English but I wasn't entirely sure. I then heard a bit of her music as she turned her head (these snowboarders and their personal mp3 players) and heard loud hip-hop in the English language. This greatly increased the probability but I still could not be sure.

Then she got her lunch out and kinda looked at me a bit but I still wasn't saying anything. In fact at this point my social anxiety and the high altitude had kinda started to make me shake a little with fear and anxiety. I just carried on reading and she put her lunch away again. She then stood up took a long hard look at me and walked (well hobbled) away.

I just sat there shaking unable to control myself and then packed up my things and went for a walk around to try and calm down. A few hours later my dad finished his climb and I told him that my time had been uneventful.

In discussion with a friend I have decided that I missed out on a golden opportunity to meet someone interesting and athletic... what would you have done in this position?

Sunday, 16 August 2009

Story #117

About 7 months ago I met this girl over msn. She was from my town. We started chatting A LOT, which soon turned into often, 1 hour phone conversations. I was nuts for her, and we spend most of the day chatting or talking. Soon we started going out. She knew how I felt and she said she felt the same.
Then, on Christmas Eve, she tells me she's going to start dating her ex again. After about a month I started talking again, and after 5 months I stopped obsessing and being depressed over her. A few days ago, 7 months later, I saw her. It all came back, all the sadness and anger.

That's my ruined love story.

Saturday, 15 August 2009

Story #116

Ah yes, it was in the long long long ago time, when WotLK had just opened and I came back to wow to see new people in my guild.

Among them was a young girl named Elannor.
we started off with talking and some light flirting, the way things are, mostly just for funtiems to make the levelling go faster.

One day some1 makes a silly comment about big dicks to which Elannor replies: "The bigger they are the more I like them!" to which I responded: "Hell you'd love me then." "Pic or it didn't happen!" next thing I know I have her added on MSN, and am standing nude in my room taking a picture of my penis.....
(FYI her answer to said picture was: O.O You weren't lying!)
From there on we kept talking whenever we where on WoW, and on MSN whenever we weren't, did instances and quests and stuff together and having fun.

I started feeling something that was suspiciously much more then just friendship for this midget of a mage.
I realised for sure what I was feeling when I got in my car to drive home from work and the foremost thought in my head was: "I cant wait to get home to talk to Elannor!"

At the same time the guild was planning an IRL meet among the officers.
So I figured I'd wait until then to tell her what I was feeling, thinking it would be more special IRL.

But, on January 18th we where sitting up late talking and both having a few drinks each, we just hit it off so well and had so much fun that night (including me beating the crap out of her snotty #*%**!% of an ex in duels up and down through Elwynn for several hours as he refused to surrender.)
I just couldn't hold it in any more and finally told her what I felt, and she seemed to fall silent for the longest time and I thought: "#!##... Now I've overplayed my hand!"

Then the answer came, and it was so much more perfect then anything I could ever imagine:
"Do you have any idea how happy I am now? I have been hoping for so long you'd say that, and I've been wanting to say it to you too for so long, but I was afraid to act without having any hint of whether you felt the same or if it was still just playful flirting. I Love You Too."

Story #115

Weeell my first relationship was with some 18 year old friend I had a crush on, over the internet (I was 15 at the time). He'd just rebounded when he broke up with his girlfriend 'cause she cheated on him or something (Funny, he cheated on her plenty of times ¬¬), aaand it only lasted nine days. He dumped me through my best friend (As in got her to send the bad news it was over) and I was upset about it for maybe a month.

Then he hooked up with a tranny who beat him, durrhurr.

Friday, 31 July 2009

Story #114

I think I'll share some stories (Yes I actually have 2 soap opera stories ;_;)

So back around 2 years ago I had some problems at school I had been sent to a school with a lower ''level'' of education because I suffered from a sleeping disorder the past year, and my grades dropped to below required to stay there.

So in my new school, I didn't fit in at all, I was actually much smarter then the level (I'm now at a school 2 ''levels'' higher which is quite a lot) and the kids there just weren't my kind of people at all.

I had no friends there at all, and I really didn't have anything to do in the breaks between classes.

So one time while I was sitting in the school lunch room or whatever you may call it, sitting alone at a table studying, when I loose concentration, I look over 10 meters away or so are 2 girls talking, and for some reason 1 of these girls was one of the only ones who seemed like my type and was very attractive.

So I took it upon myself to walk over and start a conversation out of nothing (I would normally never do this, but hey that school was awful I couldn't do anything else).

Short version, it ended extremely well and I got together with the girl, her close friend though seemed to hate me.

One day I went over to her house and we kinda made it official and I had quite a time at her house (not sex just kissing and cuddling, she seemed to be crazy about me at the time..) This was the first time we had really done anything.

One day later, at school I hear she doesn't want anything to do with me because her friend has spread some lies about me talking about her behind her back or something about something I don't even remember what she said, I was hardly listening to the details when I heard that.
I said that what her friend told her was completely untrue, however she replied with ''She's my best friend I've known for 11 years, I trust her more then you sorry'' and wouldn't speak a word more after that.

So, that was kinda a sad moment :( but I got over that since I got out of that school with an I.Q test 2 weeks later. (And maybe a double date 1 week later had something to do with it ^_^)

I have a second story, but I might put that up some other time, maybe in another version of the same thread. :3

Tuesday, 14 July 2009

Story #113

So this girl was in the same class as me 1 year at school, and we got to know each other really fast. Turned out, she was engaged. It's ok by me, as I didn't have many female friends at the time. after a few months I was pretty much in love with her. She was my dream girl, and she still is. So this one night we were lying in her bed watching a movie, and she suddenly asks me to cuddle with her. Of course I do, and one thing leads to another and we get it on, you know. And she has a really fit body, so sexy<3 Anyway, this goes on and off since she couldn't decide between me and her fiancé. Eventually I get tired of being a second choice, so I tell it to her. Some drama follows, and I move away to study. Turns out she moved to the same city a few months after me. We get together again, being good friends and being on and off friends with benefits. At this point she has broken with her fiancé, but that didn't stop him from bugging her a lot, still. I quit school and move home, she moved home(45 minute drive from me) a few weeks after.

Anyway, she knows I love her, and I think she loves me too. She knows she can get me any time she wants. I just don't think she knows what she want. It's been 2 years since I met her, and I'm getting tired of the chasing, to be honest. I don't meet her a lot lately, since she works 3 jobs this summer, and doesn't have much free time. I just don't get it. Am I being used for my body?:( Although, she isn't like that. She's a very kind and caring person.

Friday, 10 July 2009

Story #112

I just got my own wrecked love story. GREAT huh? You're all gonna be reading this just 'cause you're bored, but hey, I REALLY need to put this down.

So, I went to a new working place, it was fun, found some friends and just fooled around with some old ones, was all great. And then , there she was, the girl I was gonna fall insanely in love with. We hung out a bit, she was into sports (slalom-roller-skating) and I myself have been practising Parkour for about 3 years. So we went to the nearby city and practised. I found myself happier then ever (I had just gotten out of a depression ... long story, so much happening that I could not take it any more..and she helped me get over it) .. And that day, was the one that I fell in love..


Everything was sooo perfect. She was all I wanted, she was the best looking girl evar, and she had the best personality I could ever wish for... And so it went on , month after month..everything going great..

Until last night, about 29 hours ago..

We were playing some guitar, which we both liked to do..And suddenly, the words pop out; "Dear..I have a problem" me, being worried something happened with her parents, as they had some problems, sat down next to her... asking her, "What's wrong ?"..
The reply I got was not what I had thought I'd get...."I love you...but I love you more as a best friend then as you know, a boyfriend.." Me shocked, was asking the typical "why?!" ... to my shock I got the reply;

"I've been thinking this for months, and lately I've gotten more sure. I feel attracted to girls, more so then boys...I think I'm lesbian...And going on with you, makes it all seem a lie..."

It left me say the least. She was my first, and worst love...

Now, we're best friends, as she wished, we watched a movie today, her lying against me, hand in hand...yet different. Afterwards, we lied down, and she lied on my shoulder...but still she said that she's really sure of what she said...

Next week we're gonna do all kinds of fun stuff , to make us forget all the hard things we need to go through. We wanna keep a good friendship.

I wrote this, and many more things, after we broke up;

I just don't know what to do
Why am I still in love with you?
I know you don't love me
And that, I guess, is the way it should be
"She loves you, and you love her"
Funny to think that's the way we were
So much love used to be there
Then, somehow, it vanished into thin air

I remember the day so long ago,
when you first caught my eye.
I remember the day so long ago,
when we first said "HI."
When we first started going out,
And when I could finally hold you in my arms,
And now, I also remember the day, so short ago,
The day you broke my heart; When it all fell apart

Some say a broken heart is like a shattered vase
Fragile pieces scattered all over the place.
As I'm Dreaming through my reflection
I wonder what has happened
What has caused this distance
We used to be together
Cuddling close to each other..

Now I smile, just to hide what's real,
To hide from you, what I can only feel,
I want to be with you, to get my mind of things,
Yet the times I cannot, Fills me with endless stings,
I'm feel like I don't want to go back to sleep at night,
So I just remain sitting here, staring endless at my bed,
'Cause I know, that it will make me see, this horrific sight,
The passing of all the things, you've said.

You wish you could say I love you
You wish you could say I'm sorry
you wish and wish with all your might
Yet I only wish, that us both together, could be right.

Thank you if you read it through..

Tuesday, 23 June 2009

Story #111

Now before we start, you've got to understand this girl was my first *everything*. Girlfriend, Kiss, ... You get the picture. It should also be noted that at the time it started.. we were 13. So yeah, its ever so surprising no?

To the actual story, of sorts;

We'd liked each other since the start of year 9.. apparently. I can't recall that year at all. But we didn't do anything. Then year 10 rolled around, and we got together. Everything goes really well at first, really enjoy her company, looking at her, kissing her, I thought she was #*!#ing fantastic. And people were jealous of me for having her. She lived 2 minutes away, on the same road [She now lives on a parallel road -.-'], I spent as much time with her as possible. Stuff stayed fine.

Then she cheated on me. Pretty much opened a new relationship without finishing ours, we'd gone through a rough patch for whatever reason, I thought we were coming out okay. Then she did that.

I became pretty well uh, emo [I know it was stupid, but hell]. I became permanently ill, wasn't hungry, would barely eat, my grades slipped horrible [From an A* in most everything to maybe a B tops in most]. That lasted about 2 months.

Then, through persistence, I managed to make her cheat on him. We got back together, stay together for a while. Then summer rolls by, I don't leave the house much, finally get a char to 70, etc) but we still talk quite a bit, but by this time she'd ended up becoming really quite obsessive [There's still a possibility she's Bipolar].

The rest of it is less hard to do, because pretty much its the same. We'd break up, or she'd want a gap, I'd keep pushing, we'd get together, then she'd go to a party, kiss another guy, say oh I'm sorry. I'd forgive her. Rinse and repeat 4 more times. I ended up being a 'booty call' to her. Not a friend.

I finally called it a few months ago, when she was insisting she didn't want to be together. And then guess what, "Oh wait Sue [I am Male.. its a weird nickname I have at High School] I love you, I want to be with you, me saying I didn't want a relationship was all a LIE". But needless to say, I didn't go back to her at last.

I should probably explain, she wasn't a 'normal' girl. She'd been abused/witnessed abuse to her mother by her father. My mother runs a Women's Refuge, so I thought meh, I can deal with it. Then came the other stuff, being clingy, she'd go from Emo-Hyper like *that*. I got really emotionally involved. Wanted to help her, and I was reliant on her. My confidence wasn't at a great high. Ever. And the way she so freely flitted from one guy to another just made it worse.

But yeah, that's it. In a really jumbled manner. She was a bitch. I was stupid. We were both 13-16 [Well.. I'm nearly there!].

However, in other news, I've managed to like a genuinely nice, actually pretty [I feel that old one is frikkin' atrocious to look at now] girl, who actually likes me back. I have the feeling its good, I've already gained a job because of it :D.

There you go, laugh at me.

Sunday, 21 June 2009

Story #110

So I guess it's my turn. :)

My story began when I met a young fellow whose name I won't mention. We were friends for some time but I began to notice some things about him that worried me. He was aggressive and confrontational and seemed to enjoy being hated. Being someone of a kind nature I took it upon myself to help him through these things which I believed was the result of the death of his father. Things went well for a while, he was still angry and cruel, but he would stop if I requested it and when no one else was around he opened up to me.

In return I told him some things about me that I had told no one previously. My desire to help him increased as I believed he wasn't so bad after all, then things went downhill. He was moody and said that we should break up 'cause we were getting nothing out of it. I was crushed of course as I was certain he would become exactly what he was before.

He did, and we would argue constantly with both of us ending up in tears because of the harsh things the other had said. Then one day he says he has to cut all ties with me to try and get over me. Some of the hardest days I have experienced since I was constantly worrying about him and wanting to know if he was ok. We both were asking mutual friends about each other and how we were doing, and then he decides to talk to me again.

We reverted to arguing constantly but we cared about each other and that was really the only reason we were arguing. He began to open up to me again, and I tried to help out the best I could despite our bond being ruined over the arguments. Then I made the mistake of letting slip a lie he had told to a friend, he text me saying "YOU *!#@ING !%@#@ IF I FIND YOU I'LL *!#@ING KILL YOU". I was afraid over what he would do, and our arguments turned to me begging him to stop and asking for forgiveness when he was in a bad mood.

But I still would not shy away from helping him. Things steadily got worse until one time we argued he used all of those things I had told him about my life against me and I was heartbroken and hurt since I would never betray the things he had told me.

This was the final straw for me and we cut contact for a while, I wouldn't block him or anything and he didn't block me, I asked him to respect that he wasn't to talk to me without that being forced and he did.

Until he reopened contact again, I missed him a lot so I allowed it. We slowly became friends again and now we are shaky but it's better than nothing. He is a better person now but he still gets a bit iffy if I mention my current bf, and he doesn't know that I still miss him nor does he know that my bf dislikes that I still talk to him and still do what I can to help him. :(

Tuesday, 16 June 2009

Story #109

This is where I got friendship zoned hard

I was at college and I had just moved to the area and didn’t know any one so I was feeling rather like the odd one out as every one else starting went to school together. And I was on a engineering course full of guys apart for this one girl now like me she was a real misfit being the only girl and non alternative person in the class.

So two weeks into the course I still had made very few friends in the area and was sitting alone outside on my brake enjoying the little sunshine we got that summer and she comes up and starts to talk to me and we become best friends. Then we get a lot closer over the next few weeks with my head starting to think of her in other ways and I start to hang out with more and more people form the course.

She starts to get interested in me sexually she even started playing wow and dressing more alliteratively to . but at this point I’m not noticing as I knew she was with some one at the time and I was busy trying to make some more mates.

A month later me and her were hanging out in town, eating sweets on a wall and taking the piss of the people that walked past. This is where the spark hit me I realized I how much I like her and she likes me, at the time I was to shy to kiss her though I knew she wanted me to. I keep looking back at that one moment in time knowing that's where most things went wrong for me

So nothing happens for a long time, while I’m working up the courage to ask her out and she was losing interest in me at this point and was gaining interest in my best mast form my old home town. I finally asked her out when it was to late and she told me I was just a very good friend now and couldn’t go out with me because she didn’t want to loose such a good mate and I realized I had taken so long I was put in to the friendship zone and now every time I see her my heart sinks thinking on what i missed out on but I cant stop seeing her because of how much pain I would put her though.

Story #108

Anyway... guess it's time to add one... Long story, btw.

A few years back (just after I turned 19), I was visiting a mate up north. We were gonna watch a few movies and invited a friend of ours,
and she brought along another friend who she said we'd like. She was very right! Absolutely my type of girl.
Funny, sweet, jet black hair down to her waist and basically damn sexy.
We chatted for a while, before flipping on the film and started with our usual routine with our friend (giving each other
back rubs and cuddling and whatnot. Just friendly). The other girl (referred to as T from now on) offered to scratch my back.
Being a guy who loves that, I very much welcomed it. It ended up with her not only scratching my back and neck, but my chest,
stomach and waist too, for over 3 hours, which turned me on like crazy!
It was quickly determined that we were really attracted to each other, but she was engaged.

Luckily for me, the relationship was already going downhill. So we started seeing each other when we could and messed around a bit, until she finally broke up with her fiancée. Unfortunately, he'd just left the army and needed to live with her until he found a new place.

Was fine by me, I'm not a heartless bastard. But he got hold of her phone, and found some text messages from and to me and all hell broke loose. Suddenly I enjoyed a crapload of texts from him about how he was f**king her every chance he got,
how she gave him a #%**!!* in the bathroom at work and so on...
I chose not to believe it, but it started really putting a strain on our relationship. Especially since I had to go back south
(other side of the bloody country even).

Then one night he calls me at about 2am. I figure "What the hell. I'll see what he has to say." and answer.
He says nothing. So I wait a bit. Still nothing.
I decide "F*** it. I'll let him waste money on the call."
Then I do hear something. So listen more closely.
I hear it again. Then again, a bit more clearly.
Then I recognize it. It's a girl moaning.
And I recognize the moans. It's is indeed T.
So now I'm sitting in my tiny 2x3m room, listening to my gf having sex some !*!*#%! who's been trying to terrorize me
for months.
I was literally shaking with rage and about to loose it completely.

So I waited a few minutes and smoked about 12 cigs, before sending her a text. She called me and made a tearful apology,
while the bastard claimed he'd bumped into his phone and called me by mistake (riiiiiight..). Of course, this made me sure pretty much everything he claimed in his charming texts was true.

Cba to write any more atm (already a wall of text), so to be continued, I guess.... (yes, more crap happened).

Story #107


I met this girl some months ago, and we started out as just friends. She was someone I could talk to and she could talk to me. At the time I was pretty down and she was really caring and managed to cheer me up quite a bit. After a while she started telling me more personal stuff about her as well. How she was most likely unable to get children, how bad her boyfriend treated her, etc.. I just tried to give her the best advice I could and we just grew closer and closer.

Then a bit later again she told me she loved me and would break up with they boyfriend that treated her so bad to be with me. So that happened and we became a couple.

And things pretty much instantly went bad. I couldn't even talk to a girl without her going mental on me. I couldn't do anything without her or the same thing would happen. Everything I did would basically lead to an enormous fight and I'd just spent hours and hours apologizing for... I don't even know what for, I didn't do anything wrong.

So we kept going on and on till one day she dumped me simply telling me: I love you but I'm not ready for a relationship. I'm a bit stunned but nothing I could do. Though, two days later it turns out she's going with one of my friends. Needless to say I felt pretty used and more then stabbed in the back by my friend. She was now even more involved in the life of my friends, and felt the need to spread pretty horrible lies about me to them. So I kinda ended up alone. People that I knew for ages now suddenly thought bad of me and there was absolutely nothing I could do to defend myself.

In time I found out more things though. the 'not being able to have children thing' was a lie. her ex-boyfriend didn't threat her bad, she cheated on him with some random guy who loved her and then left him heartbroken like a piece of garbage. Now today she is no longer with my friend cause she cheated on him with a friend of him.

It's a bit of a messed up situation and I can't stop thinking I should have judged her better and stayed away. Seems now she's finally out my circle of friends and I can move on. People came to their senses and i got all these apologies but I guess it somehow still stings. But at least things are getting better and going back to how it was before.

So, that was about it,

turns out I dated Satan.

Story #106

Here's my story :<

I started at a new school (gymnasium) and there was this party for all of the new students(few hundred ppl)
so at this party I hooked up with a pretty hot chick, had a drink and spoke with her, exchanged numbers, it was all cool.

she was totally my type, scene kinda style, listens to metal, plays WoW etc, everything was perfect. she even texted me later that night, on my way home from the party.

Few days later I went to her place to watch some movie, have some beers and just chill, was pretty awesome, really thought we could have something going.

then next day when I was at work I texted her asking what her plans for the weekend were and i got this reply: gonna go to my boyfriends place Friday and to a birthday Saturday
>go to my boyfriends place
>my boyfriends place
>my boyfriend

at that point I simply lost it, I took the nearest crate of beer, 24 glass bottles and just threw it as far as I could, (was working at a grocery store) and was unable to thing one positive thought rest of that week :|

%!%* it writing this gets me all sad :(

Monday, 15 June 2009

Story #105

Not much to share any more to be honest.

Had a friend, he started to like me, apparently not "really", was confused. I got confused, thought I had feelings as well, but wasn't sure. When I admit to them, he doesn't like me any more.

Fight, contact, no contact etc. Him falling for girls that don't treat him very nicely, me listening to it. Ending up being jealous and so on. Wanting him to be happy, but only #@@*ing everything up by acting like a complete idiot.

Having his (now ex gf) telling me to leave him alone etc (does ring a bell? That's right, I posted the story under an alt).

We not talking for 2 months, last thing I said to him was that I hoped he would be driven over by a bus, very nice I know...

Then him starting to talk again when his relation not going too well, me trying to cheer him up. Was just a friend, tried to keep him at distance, failed, fell for him again.

And now we said goodbye, same ending as last time, but without the "I hope you get overrun by a bus." Telling a complete stranger(friend of his) to take care of him, because I can't.

We both want each other to be happy, but we do the complete opposite, so it's best this way. I just wish I could shake these feelings off and be just a friend as he is a good guy, but meh. I can't. I'm stupid and an idiot for caring so much.

All in all, him liking me was a mistake, or however you can describe it at all...

Can't care less that I'm posting this under a main any more, so if people wanna mock me, go ahead, I really don't care about it at all. Can't get any worse.

I just lost him, our friendship, again and it's a #@@*ed up feeling that's all I can say. Just cause I fail being "just a friend".


Story #104

So I suppose I best add my 2 liner ;)

I use to work in London at this telecom company about 10-11 years ago, there was this very nice ;-) lass called Charlotte who use to deliver the sandwiches there, absolutely stunning! and we got on well, really lovely :)

Well one day I'm working in this room with all the equipment and she comes in, puts the basket on the floor and bends down (unusual as there was a table there!) so I swear that top button wasn't usually undone, but anyway I wont distract you all hehe ;-)

I bent down also, she said words to the effect of "do you see anything you fancy?" I was going to come out with the perfect line as it occurred to me for about 2-3 secs that she could actually like me ;-) anyway, she also told me she was leaving (job or this area she covered), and silly me just rushing around with my job... doh!! and I still had the time to pop down and see her before she went....

Ah well, morale of the story is don't waste opportunities when they arise, you never know where you could end up :) still regret that to this day, but my fault entirely for not taking the chance, so be warned ;-)

Story #103


I guess I just need to vent, and I don't know where else to turn. Everyone is asleep.
This isn't really ruined, or so I hope. Could be.

Some background: (the short version)
I met this girl from The Netherlands about 2 years ago on WoW (fun), we got talking through her (then) boyfriend, who had just joined my guild and it was all fun. We kept on talking and became great friends, texting each other during the day and playing/chatting in the evenings.

After a while (after about 6-7 months) we kind of stopped talking, just the occasional chat, don't really know why but yeah. Started talking again after/during the summer of '08 and we had a great time.

This January ('09) she broke up with her boyfriend of about 2 years. I had been taking a break from WoW for about 2-3 months and to help her get back on her feet etc, I decided to buy WoW time in February to spend time with her. For the next three days we basically spent every waking hour together, levelling blood elves on some server picked at random.

Now, I already knew she was great and all, but after about a week I started to develop feelings of love for her. Of course, I couldn't tell her that I was in love with her so soon after she broke up with her boyfriend and so on. She noticed that something was wrong, asked me what it was and I said "Oh, it's nothing, just feeling a little bad." and she responded with "okay, but you can talk to me about anything."

Everything was going great. I told her that I thought I was in love with her 3 days after that conversation, and I felt really bad, as if I had betrayed our friendship. Apparently she was just flattered and everything went on as normal. A while after that we started talking on Skype, and got even closer. And I fell in love with her more and more. One evening when she was about to go to bed, I said "I love you." and after a couple of seconds of silence, she responded with "I.. don't know what to say."

She went to bed, and I felt really bad. She texted me after about 10 minutes and went "I'm sorry, I just froze up!" and I explained how bad I felt and she soothed me. I then proceeded to tell her how I felt, and so on. I told her how I felt, and she told me that she might be falling in love with me and how she thought about me a lot but still felt vulnerable after her last boyfriend.We stayed up until 07.00 that night. I had school at 09.

Things were going great, and one night when I was about to go to bed she said "I love you." and I basically responded with "what, really? you're not playing games are you?" and responded shortly after that with "I love you too." I thought I could never be happier.

We kept on playing together, chatting on Skype, texting each other etc. We had minor fights once in a while, but we always made up. After a while we started having phone sex (basically *%@!#@*@!ing while on Skype, and talking dirty. Whatever.) and it was all fun and games. We were much in love.

However, tonight (Thursday may 28th - Friday may 29th) we had the worst fight yet. We had just talked about how I was too clingy, and that it was tiring for her etc etc. We were running to Loch Modan to kill some gnolls or something, when she suddenly got really distracted and not really paying attention (this isn't really unusual, her attention span is kind of short) but never like this. There was like 2 minutes in between everything she said or moving at all.

I asked why she was distracted, if she was talking to her ex or looking up music. She said she wasn't, and told me to carry on and that she'd ignore the distraction. After a while I went:
"You know that tingly/ticklish feeling you get when you're horny?"
her: "What do you think I've been doing all this time?"
me: "I don't know, talking to people?" (we had been fighting earlier about how she didn't want me to look at her like a sex object etc, so this is why I kind of responded like this.)
her: "meh. nevermind."
me: "Why would you tell me that?"
her: "Don't you want me to tell you?"
me: "Thought you felt uncomfortable about it etc."
her: "You're making it weird for talking like normal."

I then proceeded to try explain myself etc, and she said:
"I feel really stupid now. I was hoping we'd go on Skype and do things."
me: "Do you want to?"
her: "Not any more, kind of lose the mood when you made me feel stupid."

I tried to explain, saying how I wasn't psychic etc. She went offline without saying anything. I texted her saying "What?", then tried to contact her on MSN. She went offline on MSN and sent me a text saying "Never mind, tired of trying to explain. Night."

After that I sent her 9 texts (could write them all down if anyone would like that.) saying that I'm sorry, how I love her, and asking if she turned her phone off, asking if I should call and how I would do anything to make it up to her. After about an hour of that I couldn't control myself, I wanted to call but was scared that she might yell at me or something. So I called. But I hung up after one 'calling tone'. I was too scared.

She sent me a text saying "Meh ._." and I replied with "What?". I then proceeded to call her twice, both of which she hung up on me after one tone. I sent a text saying "I tried calling but I got a beep and some lady saying something in Dutch" and she responded with "Please don't call" and I said "What should I do then?"

It's been about an hour since we last spoke at all. I feel like a #%%%ing douche bag, an @*#***# and a %%!*head. I don't really know why she got so offended.
I can't sleep, can't eat and can't drink. Tried to go for a walk, got about 100 meters from my building before I went back in. And I can't seem to cry even if I want to. I feel completely devastated. I'm scared I might be losing her, and I don't know which way to turn.
I told myself that I wouldn't push her, let her talk to me when she wanted to. I don't know how that will work out.

(I can't remember everything, I can't include everything but I hope you get the picture.)

Story #102

Love was the biggest call to awakening for me. I spent the vast majority of my childhood and early teen years in emotional pain, surrounded by pain.

I felt some great longing for love. Not so much TO love, but TO BE loved. I wanted to feel needed by someone. I said to myself, "Someday I'll meet the girl of my dreams and it will all work out. I'll get what I deserve for having suffered for so long."

Anyway I eventually met someone through WoW, fell "in love" with her. Looking back on that relationship, it was so full of pain, it was a reflection of the pain inside me and her. We often got into conflict, but we did occasionally share moments of peace. Overall, it was a painful relationship.

That painful relationship ended in a painful way for me. I felt like the girl I had waited for all my life, the girl I had prepared myself for all my life, the girl I've struggled for, the one person I needed to feel complete- just shattered my core. I flipped out, was crying with rage and filled with sadness, got depressed for a long time, acted out of frustration, gave up.

A large part of who I was suddenly faded, and an empty space in me was left. I can't pin-point this back to a certain time, but I began to feel that the space I thought was empty- wasn't. There was my real self. Not the person that got rejected and shattered, but the person who was there before the world took its toll on me.

I now saw two sides to myself. The painful existence that society has given me (or that I gave myself), and the peaceful one deeper down that has been there from the start.

All it has taken was that awareness of something 'more' in myself to trigger a life changing process. I'm no perfect person now, but being aware that who I thought I was before was me at all, it has lifted so much weight from me. Who I think I am is slowly retreating, and the light of who I really am is beginning to shine brighter and brighter.

I'm not saying I don't feel emotional pain any more and that everything is great. I still find myself going back to old ways from time to time, but, then I become aware (usually after, sometimes as I'm in some pain) that I've reverted to previous ways of dealing with things that only bring more pain into my life. The time I spend in conflict with others and myself is really reducing day by day, as I become more and more 'myself.'

Story #101

It's great to read that and realise long distance relationships can work with a little bit of effort and determination.

My parents actually met as Pen pals. Both were born in England, but my Dad was in the R.A.F (Royal Air Force) and was sent to a post in Holland. They started writing through letters, and eventually met up. My dad finished his time in the RAF, sold all of his possessions including his car in order to accumulate enough money to start up a new life with my Mum.

Long distance relationships are something both parties must work for. I was with a girl for a year and a half and we were so close, her parents and her moved away (about a 4 hour drive) and we completely lost contact. I wasn't even told they were moving until the day she went and even then I was told by my friend who was also her mate. He presumed I knew. I didn't have contact with her for 2 years (she changed number etc) and when I finally spoke to her again (I found her through facebook) she was a completely different person. I was totally gutted.

Although, "Life goes on" is a motto I will always live by. There's nothing I can do about it, so I shan't worry about it. :-)

Story #100

I had met this girl through msn chat among many other friends, we talked for a bit and we really enjoyed each others company, until eventually she asked if we could have a more intimate relationship (after sharing pictures) than just 'friends' I told her I had not been ready and she had waited until I was.

Everything had been going soo well until a time came where she just cut me off, this had been unusual as she had used to talk to me quite often on msn and now we had barely chat on e-mail. we were drifting apart and I knew it. she had started spending more time with her friends (who were guys and girls) and much less time talking to me.

I figured communication would be important for this kind of relationship and I told her that, she had told me that she would talk more, she did for a while then we continued on growing distance after countless e-mails about if she still liked me and such (I know I know, my first ever love though :p).

Now she had started growing further distant only replying every few days with very little details most of which I had believed to be excuses. this had continued for a while until I told her perhaps this had been too difficult which she agreed to and asked if we would rather be friends.

I had gotten upset and hurt her feelings and apologized right after. then in another e-mail I asked her what was up she had been acting like she liked another guy....and she did she had liked a guy friend who had been there for our troubles. I wanted to be there for her...but instead she chose someone else, what really hurt me was that I had to e-mail her for the answer.

If I had not done so I suspect I could have lived a lie. In any case I told her to forget about me and be with him, she wanted us to be friends but I refused, (on the basis that I thought she would be better off not knowing an ex while dating someone else). she had only once e-mailed me, otherwise I had tried so very hard to keep communication up but alas to no avail.

It had really hurt at first but I'm slowly recovering,I cant help shake the feeling it had been my fault for everything that happened between us, First love is always the hardest =[

oh well Live and learn :]

Story #99

This happened about 2 years ago, when I was still a noob that didn't know how to speak proper English (I live in Belgium).

I started to play the game as a night elf druid. Because of that, I had a quest to go to the spider cave. I kept dying there, and eventually a female nelf hunter passes by, and offers to help me. We team up, and chat for a while. She turned out to be a lovely person. Of course you can't be sure if it's really a she, but I assumed she was. After all, why would you lie about your gender? So, we chat for a bit. Eventually we end up adding each other to our buddy lists. Since then we did everything together, and we liked each other. She really told everything to me, about what happened at school, about her parents, about her general life. It seemed she was pretty lonely, and looked at me as someone she could tell everything (I am such a person in IRL as well)

After a while, about 2 months later, she asked for a 'hug' (/hug emote). I was like, wtf, what means 'hug'? I just said 'yeah' and ignored it. Although a few days later, she asked it again. I ignored it again - I was too ashamed to tell her I didn't know the meaning about the word, since she was really good at English (she lived in Norway). And I didn't bother to look it up because I didn't think it would be important. At that point we were close to soul mates, we really knew everything of each other and spend all our time online chatting with each other. This continued for a while, until all of a sudden she disappeared.

She just logged out and never came back.

I'm currently nearly having tears in my eyes as I'm typing this, really. She meant a lot for me, even though I've never seen her IRL. I don't know what happened to her, and if she's still out there, if she remembers me. I know I'll never forget her, and when I'm in a depressive mood I hurt myself by asking why I didn't gave her that 'hug' and what happened to her.


Thursday, 11 June 2009

Story #98

There is this girl at work I've known since I was 4 (or 5)
We grew up together ,share the same interests ,studied together at the same university, went out together A LOT, pretty much the perfect couple

I always to wanted to marry her, but I always was too shy to ask

So, about 2 years ago, I thought to myself "Ok man, you are GOING to ASK her to be your wife"
We go out on a date, and just I was going to ask, she tells me that she was getting married

with my best friend

Because she couldn't wait for me to ask her

So, after the date I start crying and crying (followed by hitting my head on the wall)
Now, I have to see her every day at work Every time I see her face I feel guilty that I didn't ask her
Every day I feel guilty

My life sucks

Story #97

This girl entered my class, every girl in my class talked with her all the #@@*ing time. Every boy in my class thought she was hawt as hell, including me of course.. All this was when i was 12 years old. A year ago we started talking, hanging out etc.. 1-2 months before the summer holiday she started seeing other guys. I asked my female friend if she was in love with one of them and vice versa.. My friend is kinda emo and answered that I was without a chance, pretty much. During the holiday we hadn't talked in many weeks, my friend told me that the girl i had a crush on was in love with one of the guys mentioned earlier. I was friggin devastated, couldn't think of anything but that.

I later found out they were never lovers

And that she had a crush on me for 6 months in a row, and I didn't take advantage of that...

Now she has a boy friend, and we never speak to each other....

Story #96

Well I do have a few stories of me being an idiot in the presence of girls. The most recent one is this girl who I don't know that well but I have been nice to her on the occasions that we have talked for example when I were at a party and I was one of the few sober people there (couldn't get a drink :<), and she was sitting next to the sink on a stool so I went over to go and talk to her, then she started to throw up so I held her back for her while she threw up in the sink, once she was finished throwing up I asked her I she was ok and got her a glass of water. After drinking the water she said thanks and told me she felt better.

This was my first real conversation with her, but I didn't really have any feeling for her I was just trying to be nice. I was at another party a couple of months later, and I get there have a few beers and some cider, needless to say I was bit merry and feeling the effects of the alcohol. And the girl arrives to the party a bit late and I say hi, and compliment her efforts on getting dressed up for the party( I didn't bother I was too lazy :P).

Anyway, I share some of my cider with her and we get chatting and such an it is all good. We were sitting down on a staircase next to each other, and in a gap in the conversation she leans forward with her lips lightly parted, I responded and we were French kissing for a while. Once we stop she gets up walks off to talk to some other people who were at the party. I was really confused at this point, because I wasn't sure if this kiss meant that she liked me, or if it was just a kiss and nothing more.

Later on in the party I'm wandering around thinking about whether this girl likes me or not, and I go into the living room where music is playing and everyone is dancing and she is there. So I did something I never thought I would ever do and dance with her (I normally hate dancing, but found out its more fun when you have something to drink :P).

Well when we are dancing the song 'dance wiv' me' comes on and she get pretty close to me, and I put my arms round her shoulders and were are like this for the duration of the song. When it ends she takes my hand and we go to another room where no-one else is and she leans in again and we start kissing again.

However, this time when we stop, she does not walk away but we are standing there, and then she says "This is weird" and not understanding what she means, I tell her that I don't want to be mean to her, and tell her that we don't have to kiss again if she doesn't want too.

When I say this she smiles but doesn't say anything and just hugs me, and before she can say anything else, the girl's mum who's house we are at walks in and then we move away from each other and she walks out the room. I didn't get a chance to walk her home after the party as I was intending to do.So I just walked back on my own feeling especially lucky.

The day after I feel really guilty and I'm not sure what to do about our kiss so I decide to wait until I see her a school and what her reaction is. When I get too school I'm surprised that she asks me to sit next to her in the lesson we have together, and I talk to her about school and other things but neither of us mention out kisses.

However she becomes ill and is not in school for a really long time shortly after this and I don't see her for a few weeks, but the next time I do see her she is walking into school holding hands with another boy and when I asked one of my friends who he was he said that it was her boyfriend.

I felt a little crushed really as i thought a girl might actually have interest in me and I her, rather than me just liking a girl and she does not like me back like all my other attempts with girls.

I'm 16 and this happened earlier this year during Halloween

Story #95

I've known her for quite sometime, through an internet cafe that I went to for quite awhile till I could afford a pc and the internet at home. she was very pretty ,cute and sexy as hell. red hair and small just how I like them. so I didn't make a move because she had a Bf.

So I joined facebook because my ex wanted to me, and I added all my friends and her since we new each other in passing.

So months come and go and I post things on her status every once in awhile. and she would leave things on my status to. And suddenly she was leaving xxx and saying stuff like love you in joking ways. so we were just friends till the other day when she said she was bored so I said I would talk to her. so she gives me her msn address and we chat to each other late into the night.

I talked about how I had a cleansing ritual and deleted my ex from msn,facebook and phone. and it turns out she went to school with my ex and were friends at 1 point but fell out. she comforts me and I comfort her having recently got dumped.

2 days talking to her now and I haven't stopped smiling :D all is well

Story #94

All right, here goes.

I met this one girl at school, back a long time ago (Year 10 I think). Anyway, we hit it off well and would always talk on MSN and stuff. The problem was, I liked this other girl at the time, so every time the new girl would tell me she liked me I would shrug it off. A couple of months after (she still liked me, wow), me and the other girl stopped talking. Now was time to finally let the new girl into my life.

So she really liked me, and I guess I was sort of into her. We would always talk at school and chat on MSN too. I guess it was time to make a move. But did I really want to?

I was drunk at a party one night and I asked her out. Not knowing I did, I did it. She said yes (she was apparently sober). Anyway the next morning I had a ton of texts and stuff, and my friends told me congratulations. To be serious, I didn't want to date her at the time. So I broke it off after two days.

She still liked me though, and about 2 months went on. Seriously, she was still interested. Eventually I became interested too, and was going to ask her out but this time be serious. She wasn't at school the day I wanted to do it, so I said I'd wait until I next saw her in real life (I wanted to make it special, not over MSN). So on the Monday I want to do it, her friends tell me not to bother.

That night I see in her MSN name "[her name] (L) [boyfriend name] (L)".

We haven't spoke ever since, and she still dates that guy.


Story #93

This isn't a ruined love story yet, but it could become one so I decided to post it here.

This summer I began high school and there was this girl I fancied but I didn't really do anything about it in the beginning. 2 months ago we were both at a party, when one of my female friends came to me and said that this girl I fancied really liked me. So, things weren't difficult from that point, and it was the beginning of our relationship.

One of the first things she said when we were writing to each other the day after the party was that she really had been let down a lot of times and wanted to take it easy with the relationship. I was okay with that, I was happy as long as I knew she was interested.

Time passed and we got closer and closer, getting each other to know etc. She is a really nice girl, and I cannot understand how someone ever could make themselves treat such a wonder bad. So I've done everything I could to treat her nicely, accepted that she slept when were together if we were tired, talked to her when something was wrong etc. In the Easter holiday I was in China for 10 days, and this was really the first place where I got to know how much I love her. China is a great cultural experience, but I missed her so much. I wrote a long letter + some stuff since it had been her 18 years old birthday while I was gone. She appreciated it, and that made me happy :)

Yesterday, she said something which really made me cry.. Now you may think that this must be something bad, but it actually isn't. Nevertheless it made me sad. It was in the evening, I was lying in the bed and we were texting, then she suddenly asked "Babe, if you had the chance, would you leave me because of another girl? Since I'm your first girlfriend, and I've heard that boys who have their first girlfriend tend to drop her because they have never tried to be with anyone else."

I said ofc: "No no babe, why would I do that? I love you!" and then I texted her and said that it made me kinda sad to hear that and that she could think such thing about me. I had done everything possible to make sure she knew I loved her. It is always me who go to her table at school, me who helps her with her homework and the stuff she gotta do at home with her parents.

I write that I love her ever so often and says it too. She has done some too, but I just think she was acting kinda ungrateful to write such thing. Maybe it is just me who's wrong. Even though I maybe shouldn't react as I did, I was crying before she sent the next messages where she said that it made her sorry to hear too and that she knew that I wasn't like that, but she just "had to be sure" because of all the boys which had treated her badly in the past.

It ended with her becoming sad of hurting me. So I called her up, comforted her and said that she shouldn't worry really. She only said it because she was afraid of loosing me, so no hard feelings there. Another positive thing is that me crying just again, like with the trip to China made me realise how much I really love her..

So what's the problem?

We are together today, at her house. It was planned beforehand. But instead of going home and maybe talking things through, as I think I need to, we went to McD because she had an arrangement with some of her friends. It was all fine, we could be together afterwards. But when we got home we had to make the dinner, since she had promised her mum that.

We did that and had dinner. Then she found out that she had to go to some kind of theory lesson for her driving license for one hour, so that's where she's at atm. She'll come back in 20-30 min. Now, is it wrong that I get upset with all these things to do when I all I really want is to be together with her without any duties whatsoever.

I know that isn't possible, but I just think it was too much today. We will talk when she gets home, because after McD and when we were home cooking I was just so sad. And the problem is, I don't know why :S It can't only be the fact that I think we spent too much time doing what so ever today, since I was close to crying today while making food too : \

Don't really know which kind of answer to expect, I just needed to get it off my heart.

Thanks for reading and sorry for the wall of text.

Story #92

*&$^^(£)*&$%(^£&*^"*%^$(&, just as I had finished it and pressed preview, the entire thing deleted. So I now need to type the entire thing again. -_-

Oh well...

Background info: I'm 15, currently at high school in Scotland.

So, at the start of the school year, my friend comes in with a girlfriend who's two years younger than us, and starts spending all his time with her. Me and another friend aren't too happy with this (he even missed my birthday to spend time with her >_>), and blame it on the girl. She wasn't too fond of us either quite frankly.

Anyway, after the Christmas holidays I decided I may as well get to know her as I'm going to lose contact with my friend if I don't. So one lunch time I started talking to her, and it turns out she was a really nice girl. So we started talking more and eventually swap MSN addresses. We started talking that night and started to get to know each other properly, which is when I realised I had feelings for this girl.

I decided to keep these feelings bottled up, since they wouldn't go down well with anyone. So, about a week later, I was going up to Edinburgh with my friends. Turns out funnily enough she was as well, on the same day to the same area (Princes Street), and asked if we could meet up at some point. I readily said yes, and gave her my phone number so she could contact me via text messages.

Eventually we met in HMV, much to the friend who dislikes her dismay, and started talking. She spent a lot of the time hugging me, but I was too scared to hug back just in case it revealed my feelings. One of her friends commented that she fancied me, but I guess I just ignored it, although it should have tipped me off when she wouldn't let go of me to go talk to my friends.

When I got home that night and started talking to her, she asked to play a game of truth or dare (minus the dare), so I said "Yeah, why not." After a few random questions, she asked me if I fancied anyone in particular, so I replied "Yes." I asked her the same and got the same reply. She then asked who, so I just told her the truth. Turns out the feeling was mutual, to which I thought both "Oh sh*t," and "Sweet!" at the same time.

About a week later my friend lost his temper at her for reasons unknown (he does this quite frequently, but only at her) and she dumped him. A few days after this happened I asked her out, and she said yes. However, the next couple of days she completely and utterly ignored me, and dumped me after the second day because she "Still had strong feelings for my friend." I tried to get over her but couldn't, so when eventually he dumped her this time, I thought "maybe I can get a chance this time.

Turns out this was the best chance I was likely to get, as she turned round and went on and on about her having feelings for me, which made me happy. HOWEVER, I, for reasons I don't even know, didn't take the chance, and she went with someone else because I left it for too long. Distraught, I told her I'd do anything for another chance, and that I didn't take the last chance because of pressure from others (namely, my friends).

She said she'd think about it, and the next week dumped the guy she was with. I thought I finally had the chance I'd hoped for, and was going to ask her that evening, which I did. And I got shouted at. By my friend, who was apparently going out with her and had asked her at lunch that very same day.

And this is where I am now.

Story #91

How to start...
Well, let's say that during the most of my life I have been cold to people, as in - I don't want to get close to them, due to the fact that people simply suck, and are almost never honest. And dishonesty is something i despise the most. Also during the most of my life I've been the black sheep for most, mocked and all that. Basically kicked while still on the ground.

So yeah, I've learned to keep distance from anyone. I have also been depressed for about 4 years now. At times it just gets too much to handle for me, i've done some stupid things due to it. I'm 19 now anyway.
I can count the people, that I remotely call friends on one hand.

So, let's say that all the times i have decided to make a compromise about something - it ended bad.

All of the things I'm thinking about are connected with each other and mixed up, so its a bit hard to arrange them.

I've been recovering... so to say, after some bad things happening with a girl i had really strong feelings for. That kind of girl, which you take as the smartest, most beautiful thing you have ever seen. No thoughts about 'omg i wanna $#@% her'. Just simple, pure love.

It's been going for long time and i loved her with my whole heart... but as you can guess, it ended bad. Not due to her, but due to my obsessions. My love became destructive love, and I %%!#ed up everything. I became a person I never intended to. I became one of those guys that care for someone else more than themselves... so she got tired and ... yeah, its kinda %%!#ed up.

As I study photography at university I had some things to take photos of - including portraits of people.
Well, of course I came with the bright idea to take photos of the 'different' people. Read - goth/emo/whatever.

So for some time I've been searching and taking such photos, coming out good enough. At some point I got stuck with one style, but a girl which I met through a friend of mine - like 2 years ago. She lives in another city.

So yeah, you can guess.
I told her (at the time I only had her skype, I even had to ask my friend for it so I can get in touch with her) and went there.

I took my photos, fun fun, everything went fine and I came back home. The photos, of course were nice, as she is really photogenic. So I was done with my coursework.
With time, though, our chats became something different. And there I am, the next week - there again, meeting with her... but this time not for photos, I wasn't sure what I felt, I wasn't even sure what she felt.

And you can imagine how strange and nice it felt at the same time. Having mixed feelings due to recovering after the break-up with that other girl, which i loved so much... and slowly starting to like this one.

I clearly remember one moment from that week - we were at some garden and i was lying on some kind of slide (where kids play), the sun was shining at my face, and she was looking at me from above... smiling. So yeah, during that whole day we were hugging and whatnot.

When it was time for me to go, it was night time, we were sitting on a bench at the train station and it was raining... just sitting there holding each other. So yeah, I decided to break the silence, and told her how I felt. She seemed a bit shocked... but at the end we kissed.
I felt so happy, everything seemed nice, around her I didn't feel depressed or anything.
Romantic? Probably.

1 week afterwards we broke up. She said her feelings were gone.

It's those things that make you regret... and make you angry at yourself. Doing things, which you are sure about - that wont work. But why do you do them? Because you are pathetic :)
Long distance relationship... yeah, i probably had the will to make it work, but obviously she didn't.

So yeah, afterwards a colleague of mine asked me if we were just friends... I've cut her off.
Yes, I liked her, and maybe things would have been different if I wasn't so fed up with all my failures and everything. I kinda decided that I want nothing from anyone any more.

Since then, our friendship isn't the same, and believe me... it used to be nice, a person you can talk with about everything - a person that has nice input.

Kinda sucks, but for some its obviously better to be alone.

Story #90

Just to "lighten" the mood a little bit, I have another story.

When I was 16 I went to a boarding school for a year. The beginning of the year was a bit hard, I had just moved from the town I grew up in, had no friends at my new town and then I had to go to this boarding school where I was even cut off from my old friends. It was tough, but I managed to see it through and after a couple of months I had gotten quite a couple of friends.
On the campus I had a couple of broken love stories, but it's the very last of them that I want to share now.

It was spring, and I had been on the school for almost 8 months. There was this girl that I had taken a liking to. She wasn't extremely beautiful, but, as we all know, love makes blind, so to me she looked perfect.
After having spend 8 months on the campus everyone had gotten really close; Holding hands with a friend that was of a different sex was not unusual, you just did it because it felt good and nothing was thought of it. There was this kind of hippie theme going on, and the girl was always wearing one of those colourful Bob Marley reggae hats.

So, one day, one of the boys there had stolen her hat to get a small tease. He had thrown it up in the highest tree on the school campus. The girl looked like she was having fun, but I decided that this was my chance (lol at the dream of being prince charming), so I climbed the tree and retrieved the hat. Go me!

I gave it to her, and she gave me one of those shy smiles that can look extremely cute and is just impossible to resist. Anyway, I looked around, and I could see that the guy that was teasing her was looking at us with a smirk on his face. We had attracted quite an audience too.
I decided that I just wanted to be alone with her, so I grabbed her hand and did a run for it.

I remember that we were running as fast as we could while she was laughing her heart out. I felt like I could run for ages and not stop at all, but I could feel that she was running out of breath, so we stopped when we came to the gathering area inside the campus, dropped into a couch and just started laughing.

It was great, we were talking and just having fun. She was a friend of my best friends girlfriend (I got a story about her too ='P), and I already knew quite a lot about her, but this time it just felt special, I think that was the time where I really fell in love with her.

I knew that she had a boyfriend, but that didn't really matter too much to me. She hadn't been with him for ages, and I actually, in my nativity, thought that she'd break up with him if she'd start liking me too much.

We started to meet up at every break, always holding hands and hugging, but nothing really came out of it at that point. People began to ask me about our relationship, but what could I answer to that? We didn't have a relationship.... yet... I thought.
At this point summer was nearing fast, and I knew that I'd have to tell her how I felt, but I was, for some reason, really scared of telling her how I felt, so I kept postponing and postponing.

When I remember back, I always think of how much of a rookie I was, but the truth is, that it's still pretty darn hard for me to tell someone that I love them.. I don't even tell my mother that /sadface.

Anyway, one week we had a week off from school, the school, however, was not closed, so my closest friends and I decided to stay at the school during that week off. She so happened to be there too. It was a boarding school that housed 150 students + teachers, and there we were with a group of 9 students, 4 boys and 5 girls.

A local air strip was housing a huge car show, and we had been asked to help out cleaning the place, getting paid good money for it and we were free to sell all the bottles of whateverness that we could find. I had planned for a lot of things to happen during those 7 days, but incidentally, nothing came out of it. I spend as much time with her as possible, hoping for her to make a move.. She never did, and I was too shy to pour my heart out to her.

We were working quite hard, and I saw that two of my other friends were growing closer and closer. It did sadden me a bit, that they could be so close when I couldn't even get myself to tell my dream girl how I felt of her.

Time went by, and all of a sudden it was the last evening before the ending ceremonies of the school. All the students had gathered outside around a camp fire we had set up. We were singing songs and crying quite a fair bit.

All of a sudden, the girl walks over to me, she lies down in front of me and puts her head in my lap.
That was close to the worst thing she could have ever done... This certain circumstance caused some of my blood to unwillingly spread to parts of the body that it's not supposed to, and something that I didn't want to get bigger, got pretty stiff.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure that she could feel it, so she told me that she was a bit uncomfortable lying there, and if I wanted to switch places with her. Me in a total panic could only respond with 'err..... sure'.
It was nice. We were like that for quite a while. It was dark, but the night sky was incredible. Full of stars. Suddenly she moved away from me. I thought she had had enough of me because of my, err, 'incident'. That was not the chase however. She was not moving away from me, instead she lied down right next to me, rolled on top of me and rolled us into the blanket I was lying on.

We were lying like that for what felt like for ages, just holding each other tight. I was silently kissing her shoulder, I was afraid to do anything else.
We were very quite, just holding each other. She was the first one to break the silence. What she said was something that I still remember very clearly: "I would wish I did not have a boyfriend". I didn't know what to say, there were too many ways to interpret that sentence. Did she just turn me down? Did she want me to seduce her? I didn't know what to do, so I chose to do what I had always done..... nothing.

When I think back, I can see what kind wrong choice I made, but you live and learn I guess.

Anyway, after a bit longer of the holding each other tight thing, the teachers called all the students in for bed. We separated a little bit from each other. I looked her in the eyes, and I could see that she had been crying without me ever noticing.

She then asked me: 'Is it okay if I kiss you on the cheek?'. Before I had time to react she had already started bowing down towards me. I turn my head ever so slightly. Her lips met mine right on the mouth. So incredibly soft, this might have been my first real kiss, the kiss of a girl that I was incredibly in love with.
I never got to see her face after that, she had already gotten up and ran to her dorm. I felt like I should run after her, but I was completely drunk on the kiss I had just gotten, couldn't think straight, could barely talk.
I went back to my dorm and fell asleep almost right away.

The next day she was acting as if nothing had happened. When the day was over and all of the students were crying and hugging each other good bye, I couldn't find her anywhere... She had said goodbye to all of her friends and left before I had the chance to.

The next time I saw her was new years eve 6 months later, at that point she had already gone through 5 boyfriends. I felt pretty heartbroken to hear about that, thinking that I could have been one of them, but I didn't say anything and just left it as it was.

I have tried keeping a bit in contact with her, but she never really responded openly to any of my emails or texts, so I just left it as it was.
A sad way to end the relationship of someone I was that much in love with.

Story #89


Story starts in August last year.

Started posting on a forum I had recently found. Trolled around a bit, posted in a semi-decent way that made the top posters like me (the cool gang).
After 1 month (or less), the girl that I'm going to talk about, pm's me about hotmail. I give her it and we start to talk. Turns out we are both quite depressed and have troubles with sleeping. So we stay up late and chat for a long time.
Around the end of October, she manages to help me so much that I get out of my depression. This cheers me up a lot and I start to like her a bit.

Sadly, she wasn't out of her own. A week or two passes and I manage to make a big mistake: I manage to break contact with her since she became really quiet. This ticked me off and I snapped at her for responding vaguely and slowly (stupid, stupid, stupid...). We break contact and stop talking for a while.
I think it was around December I started talking to her again. I tried to PM her but noticed she disliked me for what I had done. Sadly, I can't remember why we started talking again.

But we did. And we talked casually for a long time until she told me a thing which changed my whole view on her. That's when I started developing feelings.
I don't want to give out to much info about her but she was really, really bad at that time. So I held the feelings in for about a month. She was surprised to hear I had some. I felt relieved at first and thought it would be over (my brain has worked like this always). But this was not the case...

For the past 4 weeks after that, I kept getting stronger and stronger feelings. It evolved to the point of where I can say that I love her. And this wasn't good for my mentality. I suffer from Avoidance Personality Disorder and multiple personalities, which tore me apart. Don't feel like attention whoring but several suicide attempts were made...
About a week ago, she told me a big surprise. She has feelings for me herself. Which has kept me happy ever since.
Bet you weren't expecting that, eh?

I'm not searching for any help. I am sure I will crash it if something happens between us.

And that is my story.

Story #88


It all began when I met this lovely girl in school, we studied the same Japanese course and we both hanged out much in the school cafeteria so we talked a lot and we became friends with a bunch... (actually her bunch of friends + my bunch of friends became one). We started to talk more and more and eventually we swapped numbers and she started to text me and we did so frequently basically everyday even though we saw each other ever way.

So one day I asked her to the movies.. nothing special, quite cliché really. Paid for it of course, and we talked all the time no awkward silence occurred at any point. so at the end of the movie we just sat there and she was leaning towards my shoulder and closed her eyes and I knew what to do.

So I leaned in and kissed her.

We kissed for a long time, went up out of the salon and started to kiss more, and most of the times it's a bit awkward first time as well, what's going to happen? how is things gonna be? but there was nothing of that. it was the best evening ever.

Life went on and we were together for almost a year, spend everything together, new years eve, valentines days and it felt great being with her.

Then after I quit the school I couldn't find a job cause recession hit and I didn't get into UNI cause I lacked a subject... So money was a problem. I couldn't go see her as much as we did and we started to get communication problems. So we had the regular relationship talk about where things are going and what we want (this was before I knew about the UNI thing) and we talked about me moving away.
Here I was really really stupid and said I think a long distance relationship would be hard to maintain, cause I had it before, but it was something I wanted to fight for, to still be together.

I could tell right away she didn't like that response and we continue to talk. Went home, continue to talk then met up once again and talked.

We decided to break up... I still don't know why.

At this point majority of my friends have moved out of city cause of their uni so those I had were her + the other half of our bunch and it worked great at beginning, we had a lot of fun me her and one of my best friends.

Then after new years eve things started to change... drastically. still don't know all the details myself yet. So I started to see them less, I tried to make it work but they didn't talk to me as much as before.
My best friend started to threaten me and one other friend that studies here in Stockholm when we tried to get in contact with my ex to do things as we had before, we even asked him to come.
My ex did stuff such as going out with my friend but not with me, so I started to suspect she still had feelings or something in our past that troubles our relation now, which I would understand.

I wrote I letter to her, explaining my situation and how I felt about the changes and such.
I actually did send this... today to her.
So I got a reply and as I said jokingly in my letter than they probably were together, guess what... they are together, without talking to me about it and freeze me out. And this group of friends is with them obviously so I have lost them too, way back.

I will probably update this cause there are a lot of things I want to clear out and talk to her about... cause as she said "it's to hard too see you" I suspect she still has feelings and he is just a rebound, he knows that and threatens me away, same with my friend.

Story #87

I was 18, there was a girl I'd met a year and a half before on a night out (yes yes under-age drinking so sue me) who was up studying at uni. Now she was absolutely drop dead gorgeous, I mean seriously I had to watch where my feet were going because I was arse over tit about this girl already.

Somehow finding the nerve to strike up a conversation we chatted all night, the drinks kept flowing, in hindsight too easily. We swapped numbers and promised to meet up another time and I told her that I really liked her. And just as it was about to be sealed with a kiss..

She threw up on me.

Reassuring her that I wasn't angry at all I told her I was going to the bathroom to clean up fast after checking she was ok. By the time I got out she was gone in sheer embarrassment over what she'd done.

I didn't see her for weeks, she didn't return my calls or texts. We saw each other a few times after that but she was too shy to say anything till I finally cornered her. We stayed friends after that for quite a long while, she was clearly nervous and I wasn't going to scare her off, and she wasn't seeing anyone else in that entire time.

Just before I left home to go to Uni we went out one night and started talking, and one of those moments just hit where you say nothing because everything else is doing the talking and we kissed. A whole sodding year and a half later and we finally got that kiss, and it was worth it.

We left the club early and went back to hers, cuddling chatting and stopping for more smooching along the way. But when we got to hers the nerves hit again, and as much as every male hormone raging was telling me that I'd be called an idiot by every man for never taking this chance with her I knew it wasn't right and we just slept together and nothing happened.

Shortly after I left for University, which was too far away to go home constantly, in that time she met someone else and started a long serious relationship. As I was returning home the split ended badly, so badly that she left to go back to the South where she lived and I never got to see her more than one time before she went. We've kept somewhat in contact in the 2 years since but it's drifted apart and become just a few memories and "what if's"

Being the nice guy never pays off actually sadly, I've found that one out.

Story #86

Here is my ruined love story:

I arrived, as an au-pair, Minnesota in late September. The first week I spend just hanging around the house of my host family, learning to know the children that I was about to spend a full year with, but as the week was nearing its end, I felt like I longed for my friends that was oh, so far away.

I had been given a list of other au-pairs in the neighbourhood, and to mend my home-sickness, I decided to send out a couple of emails to some of the, what I had hope to be, future friends. I got more than I had bargained for.

The first person to respond to my email was a girl from Thailand. She gave me her Messenger and we did some chatting back and forth. The first chat we had ended up with her sending me a /kiss emoticon, I asked her 'you know that I am a guy, right?' Turns out she had thought from my name (which was ofc. foreign for her), that she had indeed though I was a girl. We had a great laugh, and decided to go out that weekend.

The weekend came, she had arranged for some of her friends to meet us at a restaurant, and I was supposed to come pick her up at her house.
I was extremely nervous to meet this girl. It was going to be the first person of my own age that I had actually talked to since I had arrived to this foreign and strange land.

At exactly 7pm, I arrived at her house. She was already waiting for me, standing on the driveway in the dim evening light. She was incredibly beautiful, maybe the most perfect woman I have ever seen. I was sold instantly.
I went out of the car, said hi, gave her a hug and let her get in the car on the passenger seat, and then we were off towards the restaurant.

When we finally arrived at the restaurant, her friends called. They were busy with something, so they would not be able to make it. They were supposed to show us around in the night-life of Minneapolis, but to be quite honest, I did not mind at all, I only had eyes for this girl, and spending the evening alone with her would just make everything perfect.
So we spend the evening at the restaurant, decided to go see a movie, and then I drove her home. It was like a dream to be with a girl that beautiful.

About a month passed, we chatted, talked, went out, but I just wasn't satisfied, we had not gone on a real date, and I figured that it was about time for me to tell her how I felt.

I invited her to go out the next Friday. We were on our way to our destination, and she seemed really tired, so I asked her what was wrong. She responded 'I was up all night talking to my boyfriend back home'... It was as if my heart just burst. I felt incredibly depressed, but I didn't want to show her, so I put on my "fake smile/nice guy" face for the rest of the day, and I took her home.

Two more weeks passed with us just doing the regular stuff, I was acting like everything was all right and it didn't really look to me like she was noticing how I felt. I had made up my mind though. We were going to a party later that evening, and I had decided to tell her my feelings for her when we came home. I had gone to the jeweller the day before and bought her a necklace and I had hoped she would like, and I had hidden a bouquet of red roses in the car so I could give them to her right before I told her.

The party was a blast. We both made a lot of new friends, although neither of us drank any alcohol. I took her home, and we pulled in the driveway around 1am. I had everything planned out perfectly in my mind, but when it came to the real deal, it was just excruciatingly hard. After giving her the necklace and the roses, I finally generated enough courage to tell her 'I love you'. She smiled while looking at me with her dark eyes. My heart was pounding as if it was trying to get out of my chest and make a run for it.... Boomboomboomboomboomboomboom was almost all I could hear... The silence was small, maybe two seconds, but it felt like an eternity........
'I like you too, but only as a friend' she said. It was as I had feared, she had a boyfriend back home, and she was way over my head in beauty. I was happy though. I had finally said it, and I thought that I had gotten it out of my mind.

I was wrong...

That night I barely slept. Kept thinking about what she had said, what I could have done different and what would have happened if she has said 'I love you too'.
During that night I decided that I had let too many loves get away from me, and that I would not loose this one, not ever.

about 2 months went past, and I all of a sudden realized that her au-pair program was running out. She was to go home the day after thanksgiving. Bad luck had made it so I would not be home on thanksgiving, since I was going with my host family to celebrate it in a different state. By that time I had given up on getting her to love me, but I still wanted to spend time with her, just for the chance that a miracle might happen.

The day before I had to leave with my family, I invited the girl out to the restaurant where we first met. We talked of what we had been doing before we met and what we were going to do after she was gone. What we were feeling right at the moment never came up. I'm glad though, cause for some reason I wasn't sad, how could I be? I was with the woman I loved even though the love wasn't mutual.

After the restaurant we went to a park. It had been a bit cloudy that afternoon, but the clouds had completely lifted and the starry sky was as bright as ever. It was cold, at around freezing point, and we were walking to keep our warm when we suddenly arrived at a big lake in the middle of the park. We went out on the pier of the lake and sat down right at the tip of it, looking at the star sewn sky we lay down next to each other, just laying there, looking, listening, feeling... After a couple of minutes we started talking about deeper stuff. Our feelings, our dreams, what we were scared off. I was busy telling her a story from my childhood when she suddenly gasped and pointed at the sky. A huge shooting star had just appeared right in front of us.

She told me that we should each make a wish. What I wished for is ofc. for her to love me like I loved her. We lied there staring at the sky again, the evening was as if it had been reset; No one was saying anything, we were both just lying there, looking, listening and living.

I was starting to get a little bit cold, and she was shivering. I sat up, looked at the water, she sat up besides me. I put my hand around her shoulders, heart pounding again. She rested her head on my shoulder. I felt like I was in heaven. It was just the two of us, on the bridge, all alone underneath the stars. While we were sitting there a flash of light appeared, it was the second shooting star of the evening and it was the most beautiful and one of a kind that I have never seen before: When the shooting star was nearing it's very end, it split in two.

Maybe I should have seen that as a sign, but the night was too romantic to think about something as sad as that.
It started to get late, and even colder. I stood up, trying to get some heat. Still looking at the sky, I had not noticed her getting up too. She took her arms around my waist and just stood there, holding me. I, in total panic, took my arms around her shoulders and held her tight.
We were standing there, just holding each other for what felt like forever. The kiss I had been longing for never came, but as we went back to the car I felt like I had just had the greatest night of my life.

The next day came, I went travelling with my host family. I spend my hours longing to spend time with the girl, cause I knew that the previous night was the last time I would see her, and I felt like I had wasted my last chance.

I had no internet where we were staying, and the girl did not have a cellphone. We had no way to communicate with each other, and with screaming kids running all around, I did not have a lot of privacy to moan my loss.
I was counting the days of her departure... 4.... 3.... 2... 1... It was late, around 1am, when my cellphone suddenly began making noises. I picked it up wondering who might be calling this late. "1 Message Received". It had been send from an internet website, and only had 4 words on it:

"I love you too"

...... Sux being me ='(

Story #85

Posting this on an alt.

Meeting someone, talking with that person, realising you're having a good time together. The other person saying he likes you, you not being sure and not really sure if you want a relation. After a while you realise the person is great in many ways, and you like that person too.

Person then thinks it's best not to meet up or w/e due to distance. Which is fine. Then the person falling in love with girls that are using him for personal purposes, and you standing there not able to do anything, cause he's blinded by the butterflies.

Being there when it goes wrong, knowing you still like the guy you take care of him and cheer him. Get to hear a story of an old crush off his that sort of came back after backing of a million of times. You not understanding why he's settling for someone like that.

His newest crush breaking it off after 2 months already after she told you to leave him alone in any way possible. Hearing things about what she had done, what kind of person she is and not having contact with someone you thought was your best friend.

Him coming back when it wasn't going well, and now it's "over" for the time being, until she lacks her attention dose, as this had been going on for a loooong time.

And you know you will lose him again, as a friend, when she's ready to break his heart again and all you can do is watch.

Story #84

I still owe you my one @#%!ed up love. The only one to end in disaster instead of happy tiems! :(

Once upon a time in the early morning in the town of Venhuizen a disaster was born
and it ruined and trashed my biggest love.

That's a new version of a Boy Named Sue :)

Now here goes for real:

It started last year when we finally got a bit closer after knowing each other for 2 years but we never really took interest in each other but all of a sudden we started talking more and more on msn and school.

It didn't took long before she asked me to go out with her and a couple friends and just to avoid being the only guy I brought mine along which was a good thing to do afterwards. Me and 6 girls in one room doesn't get a green light from my mind. Anyway all was fine and dandy that night and the inevitable little kiss took place when no one was looking /giggle.

Next day at school we both acted like it never happened even though all my friends knew it and I suppose her did as well. Next week was her birthday and we all got invited, yay! Now was my chance I had hoped for, I felt so confident.... Guess I was wrong.

We did have a nice evening but nothing special and she asked us all to stay over night and that was were the devil started kickin' in. I ''accidentally'' fell in her sleeping spot and she didn't seem to mind, I couldn't be happier. At the moment we woke up the next day we were still in the same bed so that didn't go wrong but then we (Me and my friends) made a deadly mistake.

Her house was a mess and I still don't know why and I still @#%!ing hate it but we left without saying anything, leaving her with a terrible mess and 5 hungover girls. Well that caused a 2 month silence between us and we never really become any closer than just friends for now.

How @#%!ing stupid was I, how @#%!ing .... GRRRRRR /emo

Now go laugh at me please, make me feel miserable so I can never make that mistake again.

(BTW, it's the only girl I screwed up with. The other 5 went just fine)

Story #83

Well ok here goes.

I've been friends with this girl for a while now, but its not until a month or so again I really liked her, and I mean really like, I think about her all the time, and when I'm with her, I get overpowering urges to go and hug her. She's really attractive, to me that is, and our personalities are quite similar.

The problem is I'm too scared to ask her out. I'm 15 and have never had a girlfriend before, so don't really know what to do. My friends seem to think she likes me, but the problem is, I don't want to risk getting hurt if it turns out she doesn't but I go ahead and ask here out.

Next week is the last week of school before the prom, I'm going with her, but not as a couple, we are going in a group. So this is my last real chance to do anything before School ends and we won't really meet much any more as we will be going to different sixth forms.

I'm am good at talking to girls, In fact most of my friends are girls, of course all in the friend zones, but I only really like that one girl, The problem is, I can't seem to talk about anything really deep, So I just end up hiding behind my Funny Guy personality.

Edit: I will say some more about her, she is friends with about a quarter of the boys in the year, and is quite flirtatious with them, of course that may just be my natural jealously kicking in. She's had a few boyfriends before. But I don't think any where proper or long term relationships.

Story #82

I have liked this girl for 'bout a year now. She knows I like her, Her mates know I like her. The whole school know I like her. So I ask her out. this is the conversation that followed.

Her :"Yeah, but I kinda like someone else..."
Me : "Oh ok then..."
*awkward silence*
Me : "So who is it?"
Her : "Oh its "
Me : "Why don't you ask him out then?"
Her : "You think I should?"
Me : "Yeah go for it"
*she goes off to ask guy out, gets rejected, comes back*
Me : "Sooo...Wanna go out some time?"
*She looks at me and storms out the room crying*
Me : "Awwwww...%%*#..."

Story #81

Q u o t e:
And I think I'm in love with my best friend's long-term girlfriend (who's also one of my best friends)

I have this too! Hurray. Mostly I ignore it though.

So atm I'm in the middle of a potential success or possible horrible failure. There's this girl that I met through becoming good mates with a few of the girls in work. She's their friend. Her name is Ellen. So Ellen and myself, the first few times we happened to be out at the same time, had a great laugh together, and all of a sudden I'm like hey, I think I like this girl. So my work mates figure this out (as girls are wont to do) and they obviously chat to her about it, and one of them tells me confidentially that Ellen ''thinks'' that she ''might'' like me. WTF does that mean?

So I'm like yeah that's grand, just take it in my stride, see what happens. The next time we happen to be out together with a group of friends however, Ellen barely talks to me, hell she barely LOOKS at me. So I'm like WTF, then I'm told by the same friend that she's probably just aware of the fact I like her and feeling awkward. Ok, fair enough. Then I'm told by Ellen's best friend that EVERYONE knows I like her. I get a serious grilling from her best friend, I reckon trying to see if I'm good enough for her, and I get told to ''take it slow, because she's been let down by some guy in the past''.

I'm Mr. Slow when it comes to girls tbh, so that's fine with me. But I've resolved that next time we're out, I'll have a little chat with her and invite her out for drinks or lunch sometime, just to get to know each other, because I still don't know that much about her, nor does she about me. Then my mate tells me that's not exactly taking it slow, but I don't care, I'm doing it anyway. Not gonna sit around waiting for this girl for months!

Apologies for the wall, if you wanna comment/advise, it's appreciated!

Story #80

I'll be brave and post on an alt.
I'm 15, 2 girlfriends [one of them twice;o]
We'll call them: x + y.
Well, the first time was with "y". It was ok to begin with. Then she was busy for 4 weeks, or sick. A combination. So that died. Then I was with "x" for 5 months, before she decided she liked someone else whilst I was on holiday, which obviously didn't end well for me. Then a couple of weeks later we kissed again, but nothing happened. She just avoids the subject, and seems to refuse to acknowledge it even happened.

Then, recently, me and "y" decided to give it another go. It was fine to start with, but then after a couple of weeks in which we didn't see each other (she was ill/busy, and crap like that) she decided it wasn't working...again.
Ironically, "x" told me that "y" has commitment problems, and hates all corny girlfriend and boyfriend stuff. Which really defies the whole point.

I'm still really good friends with them both. And I think I'm in love with my best friend's long-term girlfriend (who's also one of my best friends)