Ahem, so tomorrow is the big day.
Anyhow, what happened today. Since some five people from our class went to some trip, we (me and her) ended up sitting together for some of the subjects. It was pretty ok, we had lots of laughs, but at one moment a guy from the class who knows I'm in love with her tried to taunt us (but not so openly, so only those who know about it would know what's he aiming at), and I tried to ignore it but at one moment she turned to him, and told him to bugger off and that's she's really not in a mood for it. Being the insecure freak I am, I'm now buggered if she thought about it as to him to quit the jokes or that she finds it insulting I'd be with her. (Even though she's not some snob or anything.) Other than that, the day was ok.
So anyhow, I went to the party. In it we had a great time, laughed, danced, whatever - you know the deal. But when I finally got the courage to ask her (I didn't drink too much, I was only, well as they say in WoW, tipsy. ) a friend of mine got in fight with some guys so I had to go and separate him from them to keep him from getting his ass beaten (though I pretty much wanted to beat him myself because of that), so anyhow, the moment was gone, and I lost my courage. When I went to walk her home (party wasn't at hers house), I had a perfect chance to ask her, we were alone, there was no one who could bother us, yet once I again I didn't have the guts.
Basically, I fail.
Update: Haven't seen her for more than two days now. -.-
(Last I saw her in ~3:00 Monday morning, when we the party was over. I didn't go that day to school, and yesterday, when I did go, she was ill and didn't come. Today I'll maybe see her if she comes, but we go in second shift because the first graders are having their national exams. Of course, I forgot all about it, so I woke up at 6:00 this morning to walk to school only to be told there once I got that I should come back for the second shift by out janitor* I've meet outside.)
*The guy's pretty cool. Reminds me of Groundskeeper Willy, only there's a rumor going around the school he's banging the hottest teacher in the school.
Q u o t e:
Keep in mind that this is purely a chemical reaction getting triggered in your brain in order to the ensure survival of our specie.
That doesn't help at all. -.-
Ok, so yesterday at school, I convinced the teacher to let me leave the last school hour, because I had to go to the driving school (I've completed it a month or so ago, but I still use it from time to time as an excuse).
She also found an excuse to leave (a classmate was "ill" so the teacher let two of them leave - she went just in case the "ill" one fainted. Poor, gullible teacher...), so we ended up going to the coffee together.
Nothing happened there, we just talked and all, but now at least, during the last few weeks we spent more and more time together talking IRL instead of through e-mails. I guess that's a progress.
[Even More Later]
Ok, so guess what happened to me. I got an anonymous e-mail, with a link to a blog. And what do I do? I open it, of course.
So I start to read the first post, and it's about some girl saying she still loves the guy who dumped her and that she hopes they'll be back together.
I scroll down a little, and see her picture there. Someone sent me a link of her blog. Maybe it was her, maybe it was some of her friends, I don't care. But this has ruined all my hope. So much about it... -.-