Ok, I decided to post here. *drums*
I vaguely mentioned my situation once in another thread, but since I'm just waiting for the BBD to complete the patch download (99%! Damn you!), I think I'll open my heart out here.
How do I begin? Oh yes - there's this girl.
We've been going in the same grade for three years now. For the first year and a half, I don't think I noticed her much, but then again, back then I was pretty depressive, nihilistic and I kept to myself - you know that period in your life, right?
But then I started to socialize with people (I remembered the names of everyone in my class! Of all them 22! And I could recognize the names and faces!). So anyhow, my best friend (male) was her good friend. They eventually dated, but they broke up - long story short, she dumped her and broke her heart.
Even though she broke all contacts with him, she still remained a friend of mine. We weren't exactly best friends, but we did talk from time to time. But then, maybe some six months ago, I suddenly fell in love with her. And once I got drunk (it was maybe a week before Christmas), and sent her an SMS, telling I love her.
She ignored the SMS as it never happened. It was during winter break, so we didn't have much contact. But I had a New Year's party at my place, and she came there. I was still too embarrassed to talk about it, but we did talk a little that night, although neither she or me mentioned that SMS.
I know however that she got it, since one her best friend (female) made a few an allusions to it, so it's pretty sure she told her that, or that she read the SMS from her phone. Anyhow, time slowly passed. Winter break was over, and we went back to school.
Somewhere at this point, I once got drunk and told some of my friends I was in love with her. They mocked me, but we mock each other a lot about pretty much everything (from the place of birth to the haircut to music taste), so that's not important in this post.
So back to the issue. Back in school, we (me and her) became better friends than before, we exchanged e-mail addresses and started to talk through them when we're not in school. IRL, my verbal skills are not as good as over teh intraweb, so I talked through the mail more than ever before. About pretty much everything - what sucks at guys and girls, random jokes from the internet, etc. pretty much every subject except, of course, relationships (mine, hers, or possible ours).
Anyhow, she invited me to a party this Saturday, and I accepted. My current plan is to get drunk and then approach the subject once I get somewhere alone with her, so if it fails, I can blame it on the alcohol. Cowardly, may be - but I'm one cowardly person. -.-
Now, the biggest issue is my best friend (He (my best friend) knows I'm in love with her, and told me he has absolutely nothing against us being together - not that he would have a saying in it anyways.) - she and him were friends once, and then they got together and he broke her heart. I'm afraid she might still be feeling something for him, even though he's a total %@*%#!@ to women (but one of the best possible friends to men, so I can forgive him from being a misogynist).
Or if not, that she might think the same thing that happened them could happen again so she wouldn't want to be with me for that reason? Or that she simply doesn't likes me and would even break the friendship because of it? I way too much in love with her, that at this moment I'd even agree to simply remain her friend, even if that would us never being together - I just like to be with her so much. -.-
GALRITPOG team, GO!
P.S. Yes, this still isn't a ruined love story, but with your help (or lack thereof) it might be!
Wait, that doesn't sound right... -.-
Oh well, /emout