Well, I don't know if any of you remember me but I posted in this thread before. (around page 9 or so)
There is this girl I'm in love with and over the past 2/3 months I have been talking to her almost daily. I have helped her with a few problems and she told me she is happier now thanks to my help. She also made me happier by bringing a huge smile on my face when we talk.
The problem is, I entered the friends zone. She said she no longer has any romantic interest in me and considers me one of her best friends. All hope for a relationship between us is now gone.
This isn't the first time this happened to me, the same happened in high school, when I was like 15, when I talked and helped out a girl that was unhappy with herself. This girl was very chubby and everyone bullied and teased her about it. I convinced her to start exercising and eating/drinking right. It started to work and she was slowly losing weight and getting in shape.
I fell in love with her (first love actually) and she started to feel happier and was more cheerful and she said it was because of me. A wonderful thing to see.
But when I asked her out on a date she told me she considered me a friend and didn't want to try to take it further. We slowly lost contact and only mailed each other from then on and she broke contact completely after she send me a e-mail telling me about this wonderful guy she met and she was dating, even though she KNEW i was still in love with her. (hello, torture...)
Three years ago i met her and her boyfriend (same guy as in e-mail) and I tell you: SHE WAS HOT! She introduced me to her boyfriend as 'the guy who turned me from a ugly duck into what I am now'.
The girl I'm currently in love with and TRYING to get over with told me she would not be so happy as she is now if it wasn't for me.
So now I'm proud that I have once again been able to act like a 'knight-in-shiny-armour' and help a 'damsel-in-distress'.
But I'm FRACKING pissed off at myself and very sad that I'm again left empty-handed. Yeah okay, I got a very close friend now which is awesome of course.
But that wont heal my broken heart or take away the loneliness.
I think I'm gonna cry myself to sleep tonight. -_-'
Well, she told me there was no hope.
At the moment I'm confused, sad, angry and lonely.
I have been acting like a True Retard today, at one point getting annoyed at her and also becoming irritated at a joke she made at my expense. At the moment I'm chatting to her again normally though. :P I think she understands that I'm upset and confused so she understands I'm acting a bit weird and dramatic....wait....I always act weird and dramatic so she must be used to it by now. :P
Do I HOPE things will evolve? Yeah I do, this girl is amazing. I want to keep being her best friend and not abandon her. Its a promise i made to her when I just met her and being the 'honourable' idiot I am I plan to stick by that promise no matter if I get hurt. She thrusts me with her problems and considered me her 'best friend'. Even though we never even freaking met! HELLO SCARYTIME!
I was shocked to see I was so deep into the friends zone and how much I actually did for her since she didn't REALLY let me fully know what effect I had on her until yesterday / today. I had to fight back a tear or two when she told me how happy she has become because I bursted in her online life with my overly romantic / dramatic "Knight in shiny armour" attitude. ^_^ (my words btw, she sadly never called me that /sniff)
What hurts even more is that she used to be romantically interested in me, but that faded away completely according to her. Pain, hurt, misery, agony. -_-
Now, I will try to get over her of course and attempt to 'act normal' (which ain't working today I tell ya) and be there for her. Should she in the future show a interest in me (unlikely) and I'm still single (VERY likely) then I have no doubt my feelings for her will flare up again pretty quickly.
Hell, if that girl i talked about that i helped in high school was single now and had same personality then id probably fall in love with her again after seeing her for awhile. I NORMALLY don't develop feelings for a girl that fast (except for this one...) and my feelings for girls just don't die completely unless they back stab me like my ex-GF, who I hope gets brutally maimed by a bear...twice.
I never met her, which is scary and very odd that i could feel so much for someone I never saw IRL. O_o She is completely different IRL i understand that but even if she is I still care deeply for her as a friend and well, as a love-struck fool who is trying to get over her. ;)
I'm trying to be proud but at the moment the feeling of sadness and loneliness is overwhelming.
..."Love is Sacrifice"
EDIT: Id just wanted to add that its not her fault it became like this. The girl has to be true to her feelings. Anyone saying otherwise please leave your RL adress and ill come 'clarify' things for you. Capice?