Story #57

Anyways, on to my story, it'll probably help me get on with my life....

Ok, so like some of you might remember, I'm just an average, maybe a bit too nerdy boy at the age of 14, almost 15, mind you, age is unfortunately essential for this story...
I live in Denmark, but that's not very relevant.


Ok, it all started with me being a boy scout. So this holiday I went to this big big scout camp called the World Scout Jamboree in Essex, England. I was going with 40 other scouts from Copenhagen, where I live, and 40 thousand other scouts from the rest of the world.

So on the day of our departure, just as I arrive at the airport, I notice this girl that I'm gonna be journeying with for the three weeks of the camp. She turns out to be a very nice person, apart from her fantastic looks. We become very close friends, closer than I've ever been to a girl before. I feel like she might actually like me, something that sounds to good to be true to someone like me, the guy that the girls always laugh of...

Turns out it is=( She stops, for some reason completely unknown to me, to talk to me, me starting to be nervous and afraid to start a conversation with her. Then I decide to find out what she actually thinks about me by telling her how much I like her.

But when I've started the conversation with something like "Hey [Girl]....." I suddenly grow dizzy, and completely dumb. She looks at me, smiles and tells me she thinks I'm acting weird, something that makes me even more nervous. So we decide that I make another go the next evening. Now, I'm quite sure she already figured out what I wanted to say, so it annoyed me a little that she still wanted me to say it...

But that may just be the way of girls... as if I'll ever get to understand them... So I try again the next day, finally manage to tell her, but.... Well, she refuses, saying that she doesn't feel right about me being 14 and her being 16.... and also that she's got someone at home..... Later I find out that that's not the entire truth.....

Anyways, from that moment she ignores me even more, actually she does that until the very last evening of the camp, then I find out she's been thinking I'm angry with her for not wanting to be with her, because she thinks I'm talking roughly to her. Here I make a mistake, telling her "that might just be the way I am" which is not quite true, but I was tired at that time, sad that the camp was over. So from that point she seems to have become angry with me for saying that, dunno why.... hasn't actually expressed it verbally, but I feel it.

So here I am, having lost my first chance of a relationship, and on the way I also lost a very good friend. I feel so attracted to her, and I thought she thought so about me to. Me, the person everybody laughs of, except for my few friends, bless them. I feel miserable, weak and I have been having problems sleeping quite a few times since that. Please help me guys, I'm getting desperate=(